What is the best marriage advice for you before your wedding? Don't
rush in, and don't wait too long are just a couple pre-wedding thoughts.
The things to consider before getting married are multifaceted.
Hopefully your wedding day mindset was developed well before you began
dating, because with the best marriage advice you can prepare the
wedding day platform in advance with permanency.
Pre-wedding tip number 1; is to take your time to develop a friendship with your potential partner. Some suggest that you wait at least four months before running down the wedding isle. It would be better that you extend that to at least six months, but for the purposes of best developing your relational foundation, wait for a year. You want your marriage to stay together, so take some time and form it properly in the beginning. Don't run off to Las Vegas, get drunk and get married at the wedding drive thru after knowing them for 2 months.
Pre-wedding tip number 2; You don't have to wait to have all 6 million of your ducks in line to get married. People are being taught through secular teachings that young adults should wait until they are in their 30's to get married, that is nonsense! Their line of thinking says that by then you will had time to enjoy your life, to have a career, a bank account, a house, a car, and a picket fence and that you will be more mature. Well you could have had a marriage partner all that time, had much to enjoy, and had the picket fence upgraded to a brick wall. Besides that, the marriage itself will make both of you grow up, through responsibility, and be more mature. Some women wait so long that they are no longer able to conceive! Life is all about relationship, if you sit around waiting for the perfect secular time, you will have missed out on the joys of a loving relationship. Understand that you do not need to have a house, a car, and lots of money to love someone. Love does not require things to be an enriching part of our lives. If your love of money supersedes your love for your spouse, then don't get married, the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.
People who wait until they reach their 30's, before getting married, are far more likely to have more sexual health issues. They will either have had many sexual partners, risking a higher possibility of sexually transmitted diseases, (STD's). Or, in the case of many women, will have formed a belief that sex means nothing, (cause the guy is gone afterward), or struggle to achieve sexual contentment due to low Oxytocin levels, (from having multiple partners). Or, in the case of some men, their minds have been corrupted by porno to a point that they now stay home with imaginary lust figures who teach them that women are sexual objects, (not persons to love). Society teaches many men to fulfill their wants in 1, 2, 3, thanks I needed that, it's over now theories. Now, they both carry what they have inappropriately learned into a marriage and they wonder why it does not last.
I once knew a woman who wanted to base a relationship with me on her sexual satisfaction. She did not want to spend time getting to know one another, she wanted to see if I would satisfy her sexually. That was probably due to the fact that she had numerous previous partners and now had low levels of Ocytocin. I could not engage upon that kind of thinking, so nothing ever came of it. However years later I bumped into her, (by chance), and did converse with her some. I learned that she never had a child because her time had past by her, that was do to the fact that she was pursuing the wrong objectives.
Pre-wedding tip number 3; Seek out crucial relational insights, spend time with the founder of relationships. Put God first place in your lives, (1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us continually love one another, because love comes from God.). Love comes from God! We are going to have a difficult time in relationships if we don't know the source of love. That means obtaining sound wisdom by going to a good Christian church, spending daily time in Gods word, the bible, praying, and listening. Seek out good structural relationship enhancing principles thru Godly wisdom.
Marriage advice tip number 4; Don't look to build a marriage relationship with people who are not equally yoked. Meaning that you should be with those who know God, (the founder of love and relationships). Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Pre-wedding tip number 5; Keep your sexual purity in tack until after the wedding. Too late for that now? Ok, so then ask God for forgiveness, forgive yourself, and start fresh on the right path, right now. Abstain from sexual relations, decide to control yourself and your hormones, and ask God to help you with that. It is better to course correct than it is to continue down a destructive pathway. Keep on running away from sexual immorality. Any other sin that a person commits is outside his body, but the person who sins sexually sins against his own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18).
Marriage advice tip number 6; Before you get married, before your wedding day, make a primary decision to stick together. Remember that in order to love, you need to have an otherness mindset, you need to be forgiving, you need to extend grace, and both of you must have decided before the marriage that divorce is not an option……..love is a choice, an action, a commitment, love always perseveres. But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." (Malachi 2:16).
Marriage advice tip number 7; Look daily for what there is to appreciate about your spouse, if you are unable to find anything then you may have become too familiar, perhaps to a disposition harmed by pampering. When you see the things that there are to be appreciated, you will not be so stuck on seeing the imperfections and flaws that they have. Understand that you both have flaws, you will both make mistakes, you will both hurt each other, (because you are imperfect), and because of that you will both have to extend love by way of grace and forgiveness. You are going to need to be able to overlook things out of your love for each other. You are both going to find some things about each other that you do not like, so before getting married, commit yourselves to love each other in your marriage.
Marriage advice tip number 8; Love builds up, so always speak with loving intentions, speaking life into your spouse. As their partner you are there to support and encourage them, compliment them and speak over them with words of affirmation. You should not flatter them with falsehoods, but you can choose your words carefully and wisely in an edifying effort. Look to motivate them with positive uplifting words, never nit pik or attempt to motivate them by belittling them.
Marriage advice tip number 9; Don't expect your spouse to read your mind, learn to communicate at a level that they will clearly understand. Make every effort on your side to make certain that they understand what you are trying to communicate. Don't make the mistake of assuming that they know what you mean or what you want, clarify it. If you are not clear with your communication, don't tell them that they were not listening. Don't run around with hints and then get your expectations up so high that you become angry when your spouse does not meet those expectations.
Marriage advice tip number 10; Learn to be in control of yourself and your emotions, do not allow your emotions to control you. When your emotions are in control of you, you are far more likely to do stupid things and say harmful things that will damage your relationship. Anger is a emotional characteristic, you can be in control of yourself and your anger, if you are not it is because you choose not to be in control. Many times when people become angry, they become that way when they are looking for something for themselves. So finally, be aware that as humans we all struggle with selfishness and with pride, so be on lookout for your own selfish behavior and trade out your pride for the quality of humility.
Pre-wedding tip number 1; is to take your time to develop a friendship with your potential partner. Some suggest that you wait at least four months before running down the wedding isle. It would be better that you extend that to at least six months, but for the purposes of best developing your relational foundation, wait for a year. You want your marriage to stay together, so take some time and form it properly in the beginning. Don't run off to Las Vegas, get drunk and get married at the wedding drive thru after knowing them for 2 months.
Pre-wedding tip number 2; You don't have to wait to have all 6 million of your ducks in line to get married. People are being taught through secular teachings that young adults should wait until they are in their 30's to get married, that is nonsense! Their line of thinking says that by then you will had time to enjoy your life, to have a career, a bank account, a house, a car, and a picket fence and that you will be more mature. Well you could have had a marriage partner all that time, had much to enjoy, and had the picket fence upgraded to a brick wall. Besides that, the marriage itself will make both of you grow up, through responsibility, and be more mature. Some women wait so long that they are no longer able to conceive! Life is all about relationship, if you sit around waiting for the perfect secular time, you will have missed out on the joys of a loving relationship. Understand that you do not need to have a house, a car, and lots of money to love someone. Love does not require things to be an enriching part of our lives. If your love of money supersedes your love for your spouse, then don't get married, the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.
People who wait until they reach their 30's, before getting married, are far more likely to have more sexual health issues. They will either have had many sexual partners, risking a higher possibility of sexually transmitted diseases, (STD's). Or, in the case of many women, will have formed a belief that sex means nothing, (cause the guy is gone afterward), or struggle to achieve sexual contentment due to low Oxytocin levels, (from having multiple partners). Or, in the case of some men, their minds have been corrupted by porno to a point that they now stay home with imaginary lust figures who teach them that women are sexual objects, (not persons to love). Society teaches many men to fulfill their wants in 1, 2, 3, thanks I needed that, it's over now theories. Now, they both carry what they have inappropriately learned into a marriage and they wonder why it does not last.
I once knew a woman who wanted to base a relationship with me on her sexual satisfaction. She did not want to spend time getting to know one another, she wanted to see if I would satisfy her sexually. That was probably due to the fact that she had numerous previous partners and now had low levels of Ocytocin. I could not engage upon that kind of thinking, so nothing ever came of it. However years later I bumped into her, (by chance), and did converse with her some. I learned that she never had a child because her time had past by her, that was do to the fact that she was pursuing the wrong objectives.
Pre-wedding tip number 3; Seek out crucial relational insights, spend time with the founder of relationships. Put God first place in your lives, (1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us continually love one another, because love comes from God.). Love comes from God! We are going to have a difficult time in relationships if we don't know the source of love. That means obtaining sound wisdom by going to a good Christian church, spending daily time in Gods word, the bible, praying, and listening. Seek out good structural relationship enhancing principles thru Godly wisdom.
Marriage advice tip number 4; Don't look to build a marriage relationship with people who are not equally yoked. Meaning that you should be with those who know God, (the founder of love and relationships). Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Pre-wedding tip number 5; Keep your sexual purity in tack until after the wedding. Too late for that now? Ok, so then ask God for forgiveness, forgive yourself, and start fresh on the right path, right now. Abstain from sexual relations, decide to control yourself and your hormones, and ask God to help you with that. It is better to course correct than it is to continue down a destructive pathway. Keep on running away from sexual immorality. Any other sin that a person commits is outside his body, but the person who sins sexually sins against his own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18).
Marriage advice tip number 6; Before you get married, before your wedding day, make a primary decision to stick together. Remember that in order to love, you need to have an otherness mindset, you need to be forgiving, you need to extend grace, and both of you must have decided before the marriage that divorce is not an option……..love is a choice, an action, a commitment, love always perseveres. But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." (Malachi 2:16).
Marriage advice tip number 7; Look daily for what there is to appreciate about your spouse, if you are unable to find anything then you may have become too familiar, perhaps to a disposition harmed by pampering. When you see the things that there are to be appreciated, you will not be so stuck on seeing the imperfections and flaws that they have. Understand that you both have flaws, you will both make mistakes, you will both hurt each other, (because you are imperfect), and because of that you will both have to extend love by way of grace and forgiveness. You are going to need to be able to overlook things out of your love for each other. You are both going to find some things about each other that you do not like, so before getting married, commit yourselves to love each other in your marriage.
Marriage advice tip number 8; Love builds up, so always speak with loving intentions, speaking life into your spouse. As their partner you are there to support and encourage them, compliment them and speak over them with words of affirmation. You should not flatter them with falsehoods, but you can choose your words carefully and wisely in an edifying effort. Look to motivate them with positive uplifting words, never nit pik or attempt to motivate them by belittling them.
Marriage advice tip number 9; Don't expect your spouse to read your mind, learn to communicate at a level that they will clearly understand. Make every effort on your side to make certain that they understand what you are trying to communicate. Don't make the mistake of assuming that they know what you mean or what you want, clarify it. If you are not clear with your communication, don't tell them that they were not listening. Don't run around with hints and then get your expectations up so high that you become angry when your spouse does not meet those expectations.
Marriage advice tip number 10; Learn to be in control of yourself and your emotions, do not allow your emotions to control you. When your emotions are in control of you, you are far more likely to do stupid things and say harmful things that will damage your relationship. Anger is a emotional characteristic, you can be in control of yourself and your anger, if you are not it is because you choose not to be in control. Many times when people become angry, they become that way when they are looking for something for themselves. So finally, be aware that as humans we all struggle with selfishness and with pride, so be on lookout for your own selfish behavior and trade out your pride for the quality of humility.
Nice post!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this one.
This is one of the best advice I've ever read.Thanks for this one. Yeah right I really do agree with you because for me when it comes to marriage I really don't rush things because I know that marriage is not an easy path to take so why rush things. I prefer to enjoy my single life 'til I'm ready for the great responsibility.
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